People cheat. People lie. Things fall apart. The natural order of things says that most people will go through several relationships before finally getting it right, if ever. It’s funny how the universe works. This summer, as if preordained by the lord of infidelity, we’ve had the opportunity to observe three prominent relationships dealing with life post “step out”, and I think there’s game to be peeped.
So there’s no need to rehash the Rob Kardashian Blac Chyna fiasco, but I will reference it here because it happens to be one of two case studies in the “women cheat too” attaché case. Fictional couple Issa Rae and Lawrence (whatever his fictional last name is) is the second of the two. Now, scroll through IG on a random day and you’ll find any number of Men are dogs, they filthy, they’ll run you through the mud memes. Men as morally corrupt cheaters has been the prevailing “urban legend” since the day was one. It’s not like we didn’t know women cheat too; but I wonder if we’re getting to a point where it’s not just men alone who are demeaned as relationship killers. Could we be progressive enough to share the title of “No Good” across genders?
So Issa and Chyna are two different types of cheating women. Issa got caught up spending quality time in places she ain’t need to be. One factor in Issa’s cheating on Lawrence is the fact that this man’s confidence got rocked and he was knocked off his square when his endeavors ain’t pop off. This is a real issue in relationships. As much as we like to say we love people unconditionally, there are plenty of conditions, one of which is often gainful reliable employment. My mother taught that one of the quickest ways to send your woman looking elsewhere is to not be a provider.
Lawrence’s start up failed and he was unemployed for a spell and then underemployed as a blue shirt at Best Buy. That reality had Issa’s unconditional love looking shaky shaky. That crack in the foundation plus a contact high and a dark room and a dude she was comfortable with and now we got a problem. Blac Chyna on the other hand probably watched a lot of Players club growing up because she’s just using what she got to get what she want. This happens more often than we talk about, if not always on the masterful level of Blac Chyna.
The point being women cheat like men do. Side chick, side dude culture is huge right now. It’s basically a mainstream lifestyle choice at this point. And if that is the case then it might be time to reconsider the men are dogs trope.
The most impactful relationship in the news this summer, besides Trump and Sessions, was Jay and B’s crystal palace of betrayal and mystery. Jay, while currently reformed, laid out his past womanizing hall of fame ways on the 4:44 album while also reinforcing the dudes be cheating stereotype. However, the man turned his mess to a message to quote Church parlance and apparently has reacquired his wife’s trust. Not every cheating story will end with introspection and classic albums, but it does show that not every infidelity should end in separation. Meanwhile, the Rob Kardashian situation highlights the need of some fellas to be ever vigilant against getting got by fine women with silver tongues and a penchant for luxury cars.
I guess the point is that relationships are complicated af, no news there. No one gender can lay claim to the title of most likely to break trust or perpetual victim of the side-person culture. Can we truly be progressive and move past the idea that women have sole claim to the moral high ground when it comes to infidelity? Probably not. The men are dogs thing is deeply rooted in our culture, and like all stereotypes there are centuries worth of truth in that dig. I’m not sure that places me on Issa’s team, one time for Lawrence getting that get back smash action, but it’s cool when art/entertainment is informed by the current milieu and not tried and true archetypes.